Don’t Wait Until Winter Gets Heavy: Build Your Coping Toolbox Now

Sep 27

5 min read

Stumbling, surviving, still here. Notes from the floor

There is something about this time of year.

School is back in session. Schedules are filling up again. Mornings feel a little more rushed. The temperatures are starting to drop. The trees are changing. And every night, it seems like the sun disappears just a little bit earlier.

Especially for those of us who live in the north, we know what is coming.

Winter.

And up here, winter isn't a cute little weekend of snow.

Winter moves in, unpacks its bags, gets comfortable on the couch, and stays awhile. 😂

Soon enough, there will be mornings when it's dark when we get up and evenings when it feels like the sun disappeared before we even finished the day.

And while there are things I genuinely love about fall and winter—the changing leaves, hoodies, blankets, warm drinks, holidays, fresh snow—this time of year can also be hard.

So maybe we shouldn't wait until it gets hard to start taking care of ourselves.

We Prepare for Winter Everywhere Else

Think about it.

We get our winter coats out.

We find the boots.

We check the tires.

We put away the summer stuff.

We get the snow shovels ready.

We prepare our houses and our cars because we know the season is changing.

But what about us?

What if we prepared ourselves, too?

Not because something is wrong with us.

Not because we're expecting the worst.

But because we already know there may be days ahead when getting outside is harder, daylight is shorter, schedules are exhausting and staying underneath a blanket sounds a whole lot better than interacting with another human being.

Maybe now is the time to pull out our coping skills and see what still works.

Your Coping Skills Don't Have to Be Complicated

Sometimes when we hear "coping skills," we imagine some perfect morning routine involving meditation, yoga, journaling, eight glasses of water and becoming a completely different person before 7 a.m.

No thanks. 😂

Your coping skills are simply the things that help you get through the hard moments a little more safely and steadily.

Maybe it's music.

Maybe it's calling somebody.

Maybe it's taking a hot shower.

Maybe it's coloring, crafting, gaming, reading, baking, cleaning, journaling, moving your body, watching your comfort show or sitting quietly with a cup of coffee.

Maybe it's stepping outside for five minutes when there is actually some sunshine.

And sometimes it's saying:

"I'm not doing very well today, and I need somebody."

That counts too.

Make Your List BEFORE You Need It

This is something I think we forget.

When we're overwhelmed, exhausted, anxious or feeling really low, that is usually not when our brains are best at coming up with solutions.

So let's make the list now.

Ask yourself:

What helps me when I'm overwhelmed?

Who can I call when I don't want to be alone?

What gets me out of the house?

What helps me move my body when going outside isn't an option?

What are a few things I can look forward to this winter?

What are my warning signs that I'm starting to isolate too much?

What can I do on the days when I just feel blah?

And here's another important one:

Who can I reach out to when my regular coping skills aren't enough?

Write the answers down.

Put them in your phone. Stick them on the refrigerator. Throw them in your journal.

Because January-you might need something that September-you can prepare today.

Give Yourself Things to Look Forward To

Winter can start feeling like one really long stretch of cold days.

So let's break it up.

Plan the movie night.

Have dinner with somebody.

Find a winter hobby.

Schedule the coffee date.

Start the puzzle.

Join the group.

Try the recipe.

Read the ridiculous romance novel.

Whatever works for you.

Not everything we look forward to has to be some huge vacation or expensive event.

Sometimes we just need a reason to say:

"Okay. I have something coming up Saturday."

Those little things matter.

Pay Attention When You Start Disappearing

This one is important.

Sometimes isolation sneaks up on us.

At first we're just tired.

Then we don't really feel like going anywhere.

Then we stop answering messages.

Then everything sounds like too much work.

And before we realize it, our world has gotten really small.

There is nothing wrong with needing quiet or alone time. Some of us absolutely need it to recharge.

But learn the difference between resting and disappearing.

You know yourself better than anyone.

Pay attention when something starts feeling different.

And if you notice yourself struggling more than your usual coping tools can handle, reaching out for professional help isn't failing at coping.

Sometimes reaching out IS the coping skill.

We're Heading Into a Season of Rest—But We Don't Have to Do It Alone

Nature is slowing down.

The leaves are falling.

The days are getting shorter.

Things are getting quieter.

Maybe there is something we can learn from that.

We don't have to operate at full speed every season of our lives.

Maybe fall and winter can remind us to slow down a little, check in with ourselves and take care of the parts of us we've been running past all summer.

But slowing down doesn't mean disappearing.

And resting doesn't mean giving up.

So before winter settles in, take a few minutes and build your coping toolbox.

Put some good things on the calendar.

Figure out who your people are.

Find ways to move.

Find ways to connect.

Find the things that bring you comfort.

And keep an eye on yourself.

Because we're going into the darker months together.

And here at The Messy Human Masterpiece, I want you to know there is room for you here during those months, too.

You don't have to show up perfectly.

You don't have to have everything figured out.

You don't even have to pretend you're okay when you're not.

We're just going to keep checking in, using the tools we have, reaching for help when we need more, and getting through the seasons one messy human day at a time.

Messy. Showing up anyway.

Till we meet at the next resting point, whenever and wherever it finds us.

— a messy human, doing their best

Robin Lynn

If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts or is in crisis: In the U.S., call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. If there is immediate danger, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency department.

You don't have to wait until you're at your worst to reach out.

The Messy Human Masterpiece shares peer-based lived-experience support and educational information. It is not a replacement for professional mental health care. If you're struggling or feel unsafe, please reach out to an appropriate mental health professional or crisis resource in your area.